Tag Archives: rejection

Today’s Word is… CASUAL

So let’s talk about sex (barely.)  I’m not necessarily a big fan of casual hookups; an arrangement that is intended for convenience is actually full of rules and regulations because lord forbid someone catches feelings.  Everyone has their own method to keep them feels away, no kissing, don’t call before a certain time, no spending the night, no cuddling, no eye contact…for all this effort to feel detached why not just leave money on the nightstand. (Oh yeah, laws and shit). I’m the worst kinda casual hookup, I like affection, going out, and what’s otherwise deemed “relationship shit” while also maintaining the consistency that is not wanting your ass. Essentially,  I’m a Gemini. I recently learned that people have clear distinctions between a jump off, fuckbuddy, and friends with benefits while I never really saw the point in creating an upper single class.  To me it’s still rejection; “I only like you enough to sleep with”.  It’s the inconvenient truth behind casual hookups. *whispers*  You are either sleeping with someone who isn’t what you want or you aren’t what they want. 

*Funk Flex bombs*

For whatever reason or several, it just ain’t on that relationship trajectory and so you’re just enjoying the Netflix and chill. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, just call it what it is.  Some people can keep that arrangement happily for years, most can’t. (Debate your cat). Way back when, my coping mechanism was denial.  I reveled in it for a while, psssh unattached sex? Bet.  Like that time I met this girl at this frat party…

…and it turned out they were a couple. Anyway, even the come thru dude is eventually going to wonder why y’all can’t at least grab dinner sometime, or feel a type of way about the way you said you could NEVER date someone like them.  Its not necessarily “catching feelings” as much as it’s just “damn, that’s how you see me?”

It’s common practice for the less invested party to deflect, like in that TheNeighborsSoiree and Drake Come and See Me song; the girl is like, can you not just call me drunk late at night to come thru, act like you have some couth. They proceeded to make her valid concern into a catchy hook like yo she tripping. It was a truth I had to face with someone, that it wasn’t poor timing or the past…it was just never going to be her.  She didn’t “catch feelings” for me, she recognized her place in my life and dipped out.  I wish her well.  I would’ve done the same roles reversed (or at least waited until I met someone cuz who really tryna be quitting jobs without another lined up…but God is still working on me).  

So what did we learn here?  Casual sex is great!!! (Provided don’t catch feelings, manage expectations, and have little to no desire to pursue an exclusive relationship) …or at the very least just lie to yourself.  It’s human nature to get attached to people you’re smashing as well as the resentment that comes when you are attachment to someone who isn’t yours.  Yet it’s hipper to pretend we don’t care about these things.  (Yes, millenial girl with the septum piercing I know YOU’RE the exception you love to hook up with guys and you never feel a thing, you’re awesome).  It could be so much simpler if we would all just stay single, stick to our standards, and not entertain or smash anyone we aren’t serious about….

I hate it here.  


1 Comment

Filed under Dating, Randomness

Today’s Word is… UNREQUITED

I believe those ghost hunters shows are full of shit.  I believe Adnan did it. I believe we aren’t alone in the Universe.  I believe Jay Z really cheated.  I don’t believe unrequited love is really love.  Perhaps I’m a love purist, I believe love starts at reciprocity.  I don’t believe that you can truly love someone whonever loved you back, that it’s longing, its projection, its not love.  Maybe that’s the INFJ in me, I require balance, returned affection,  shared energy or I shut down.  I can’t see myself tirelessly trying to make fetch happen and getting nothing in return.  I was having this conversation with a friend who disagreed vehemently.  Who was I to discount someone’s feelings? It’s arrogance.  I guess….but I’m not so much dismissing feelings as much as I’m wondering aloud, what are you loving?  

I’ve been on both sides of this coin, piner and pinee…truthfully I don’t know which is worse. (Piner is worse)  For most of my early life my “love” was unreturned, I fell hard and fast for anyone who paid me any mind.  I said I love you because it felt like what you were supposed to do, I got curved and you couldn’t tell me Lenny Williams and I wasn’t feeling the same pain.  Except, he was literally losing his world and I barely knew this girl.  He reminiscing the kisses, the moments, the love and I was really really sure I maybe might could like her.  It was practically the same thing. All curves matter yo.  You couldn’t tell me my pain wasn’t real…eventually I could tho.  I can look back and say I was doing the most. Rejection sucks, but I didn’t love those women.  I didn’t know them enough to love them, they didn’t know me enough to love me. 

As the pinee, it’s…awkward.  Sometimes I even wish I could return the feelings just because I hate uncomfortable situations.  I can admit I was a little naive in the past, I flirted, I teased completely oblivious to the feelings my actions my engender.  Sometimes I just assume they know better than to actually shoot their shot.  But feelings gon feel I suppose. Nevertheless,it still wasn’t love they felt.  They never seen me in a romantic light to love me.  Ask them why they love me and its all about possibles and singing if weeeeeeee like Jeremih. Full disclosure,  I’m awesome, but all they know is what seems like a really good idea.  Which is all well and good but…still not love.  Especially when all I’m giving in return is jokes and the occasional compliment.  I don’t even deserve it, really. How did we get here?

So what do you call these unreturned, projected feels? Is unrequited love already considered a lower quality of love so much so we can let them sit with us?  Nigga, I guess.  Love is beautiful, magical, freeing…yet these days its so commonly associated with hurt and heartbreak.  Unrequited jawns feel their love is the same because the hurt hurts but if you’ve never felt the high that mutual healthy love has given you…you doing it wrong. Stressing about exes you never dated, loving people who never earned it. Y’all got it.  Maybe I’m splitting hairs here. Unrequited love can come to the cookout. Better bring ice and foil at least.


Leave a comment

Filed under Love, Relationships

Today’s Word is… PROCLIVITY

[Editors Note: A quick peek into my creative process

*New Post*

Today’s word is… TYPE

Damn I did that already, maybe a repost with added commentary? 


Nah, wouldn’t fit.  I guess this is more on preferences

lToday’s Word is… PREFERENCE (D’OH!)

How about proclivity, if I’ve done this one before I swear Today’s Word will be End and I’ll quit only got like 3 readers anyway…

Nope never did proclivity.

Wait, am I using that word right?  Of course I am.

*googles to make sure*

Ooh I like how penchant sounds better…maybe I should flip a coin to decide. (I never carry change)

*downloads coin flip app*

Okay now I’m just stalling…wait, what was I writing about?

Writers. We’re all weird.

Now to our feature presentation…]


So I don’t go no type.  Bad bitches is the only thing that I like.  Skinny, plenty, black, white, I date who I’m interested in and who’s available at the time.  So I was talking to a friend about a crush of hers and how she felt she had a good shot because his ex wasn’t overly attractive.  I found this development interesting because had she never seen her she would likely be intimidated because she would assume he was into, well, not her.  It’s a normal fear that comes with any hey booing, you never know what they like and if you qualify.  However, seeing an actual representation of someone they would date and presumably find attractive, there you actually have someone to compare yourself to. It was interesting to hear this come from a woman and if this was common, the idea that you would be more attracted to someone based on their type. 

As someone who occasionally has thought themselves out of approaching someone, I wonder if I would be more or less inclined, even subconsciously, to approach that same person if they dated someone who looked like Gucci Mane.  Would I be turned off or would self assurance kick in like ” psssh, I can do that”.  What if her ex was like Idris Songz (or whomever y’all man crush Mondays be these days) would I still be filled with that same bravado?  Probably. I’m fly.  Seriously, I would like to think I’ve  never self disqualified; I’d like to think most people are as random as I am with preferences.  Honestly, I find it odd when someone has a strict “type” it just comes off as fetishized and dehumanizing  (see: white women who make it a point to note that all they’ve ever liked was black guys, black guys who are all about latinas and can’t tell the difference between Puerto Rican and Salvadoran).

Enter social media, where you don’t even have to try and project what their interests are and who they be with, you can just see it for yourself.  Your “competition” for lack of a better word is right there.  Every ex, bae, boo or suitor in a scouting report curated by Mark Zuckerburg and the good folks over at Roc-a-Fella records.  My social media is frustratingly boring, so I’ve been told, so one would just have to ask me (like they’ve done a million times), I’m just going to describe them and smile (like I’ve done a million times) because it really wouldn’t matter if my “type” was exotic instamodels, and hers were 6’5 lightskinneds there we would be together so we would both be full of shit. (Or we would just be…typos *cue rimshot*).

I guess my point here is that type or proclivity doesn’t matter much.  Spoiler alert, we tend to say one thing and do another (pun intended).  The confidence boost more or less a placebo, stepping to someone because you think you finer than their ex be advised, results may vary. 


1 Comment

Filed under Dating, Randomness

Today’s Word is… NO

So a reader asked me was I afraid of commitment, without a second thought I had said no.  She was surprised by this answer, as young dudes usually try to avoid commitment like they do baldness, debt and the flu.  She asked for a particular reason, she was seeing someone and everything was going okay except there hasn’t been much effort on his part to eliminate the gray area and make it official.  “He’s afraid of commitment” she explains, he’s been burned in the past and is cautious about doing it again.  I had nothing.  And by nothing I mean I had a suspicion but I didn’t feel like speaking on it at the moment.  That suspicion being he’s probably more than likely full of shit.  I never placed much stock in the being afraid of commitment because titles don’t breed feelings, he is just as likely to get hurt by this girl she’s dating routinely than someone he’s actually yoked himself to. Hell, I would say that it hurts less failing a relationship than being jilted by a never was.  I’m biased.  So of course what followed is the cliche question:

Why are men afraid of commitment?

Now, there’s some men who are just unabashedly self aware, they don’t feel as though they would be a good mate, they’ve been hurt, they inflict hurt, they don’t trust themselves to take that leap. But in her beau’s case, and I would say they aren’t afraid of commitment, they’re afraid of the “no”.

No is rejection, no is finality, no strips always the blissful ignorance that is enjoying the ride and seeing where things go.  No has consequences, suddenly the spoils and privileges you enjoyed as a “friend” cease to exist.  Those all day conversations are now “hi, wyd, and thats good”.  Its like coming into work one Monday and your badge doesn’t work. (Which is terrifying, every time.) 

No shines accountability on the other side as well, there is no more being led on, no credence lent to your doing the wrong thing with the right intention.  Now you know this is a road to nowhere, there’s no hope to hide behind.  You’re left with two choices; continue down this road to nowhere or just turn around and head back.  The reality sets in that you were never “friends” or you were never “talking”, you both just, were.  Its a tough pill to swallow.  If only a return to bliss was possible…but its been spoiled forever.  (Well unless someone changes their mind)

The ignorance is addictive sometimes.  Don’t ask questions you can’t process the answers to,  keep telling yourself who knows what the future may hold when you know deep down it looks very bleak.  In her case, she just accepted that he’s afraid of commitment and he’ll come around.  I would beg to differ but maybe I’m wrong on this one and he truly is just afraid of a being hurt in a relationship with the person he’s been dating for months already and seemingly has feelings for.  Or something. 

Leave a comment

Filed under Dating, Relationships

Today’s Word is… BITTER


As an adult male, sans online you make new male friends primarily off a shared experience, run ball together, live near each other or work together.  You can make new female friends the same way but there’s also the accidental friendship; one of you tried to pursue a relationship, the other turned down (for what) this offer and now you’re left with two options, chill in this here friendzone or take your ball and go home.  The former is usually the option since people hate appearing bitter even if they feeling some type of way about this curve they just received.  For what its worth, I think more people should be bitter, sometimes its okay to say “you broke my heart, so f ck you”. Friendships are just as optional as relationships, there’s truly no need to be in one that doesn’t make you happy. 

Perhaps it is because bitter is such a loaded word.  It’s synonymous with hating, “who hurt you” and rancor.  No one wants to appear bitter, be called bitter or even admit to themselves that they are bitter.  It was a struggle that I have fought myself plenty of times.  From back in the day, all the girls I had a crush on around the way called me their big brother, me and Dessi having regular conversation like a heartbreak didn’t happen, remaining civil with an ex and us both pretending we’re not in love with each other.  Men typically are used to swallowing this bullet anyway, I’m not going to be churlish with someone just because they choose not to be with me (of course I’m speaking for men, not buckfoys who seemingly have no sense of coping skills).  In that same sense, there’s times when I realized that it was no point in keeping up a facade and saw my way out.  (Which always seems to turn the tables and now she’s sweating you but that’s besides the point)

You can’t make someone stop feeling, stop hurting or even swallow the rejection to maks your life easier.  Its something I’m learning still.  When I’m on the other side of the table, I have no control on whether they want to stay or go, just as none of my dreams deferred had a choice.  However, the key is still to make a choice and not waver. Don’t tell me you’re my friend and all you’re doing is trying to woo me, don’t tell me you’re my friend and passive aggressively unload your hurt.  Don’t tell me you’re my friend and really you’re just planning to flip the script so you can then reject me (this last one might’ve been me a few times, but I’m petty. Jesus is fixing me. Judge your auntie.)

Rejection sucks. It hurts worse then stepping on a lego at midnight or getting a charlie horse mid coitus.  What I will say is, even if I initially planned to give her that work be more than a friend, some of my closest homegirls I wouldn’t trade for the world.  Depsite the fact, she probably was planning to put my face in a figure four leglock be Mrs Stan Gemini and was denied, I would hope one could appreciate me as a kind, supportive, friend.  And I give great hugs.


Leave a comment

Filed under Dating, Relationships

Today’s Word is… ABANDONMENT

Started with an email, now we here. Actually, this was an entirely different post a few days ago, what started off as a question about dating someone with abandonment issues, it became “wait….do I HAVE abandonment issues?”. I had stumbled across an old article on YourTango, “5 Ways Abandonment Issues Can Ruin Your Relationships“. I mean I’m shy, I end relationships not for what they are but more for what they won’t become, falls in love fairly hard, always courting if you read up on it, I seemingly fit the mold.  I don’t think I’m afraid of being alone or rejected, I’m alone now….kinda.  I mean yes I do need reassurance in a relationship, but who doesn’t. (Okay I think I set a record for most shameless plugs in the first 100 words of a blog post). There’s a method to my madness, when I wrote each of those posts they were all at different times with different mindsets, there’s times I like to write in series but I never realized how it all fits from afar. Maybe I do have abandonment issues, it would explain a lot, but so does me just knowing what I want and having limited patience for anything less because I really don’t have to. Okay, that sounded extremely cocky…let’s just go with abandonment issues for now.

Keeping things strictly on a dating front (abandonment in my life as a whole is a pandora’s box i’m not even going to try and touch). There’s been plenty of times I’ve been “abandoned”, some I saw coming, others blindsided me. What probably hurt more than the actual rejection was that now I had to question my own instincts. A blog of this nature allows me do a lot of reflecting, even if I don’t actually write about it, the thoughts are there. There’s situations I think about and get upset all over again and I hate that it does. Every now and again I will have baby blues and will think about what could’ve been with “Her”, I’ll tell “Dessi” something and I’m quickly reminded of the only 2 people I had shared that with previously. My relationships have ended much sooner now than in the past, maybe that’s good I’m not wasting time or maybe I’m becoming too jaded. I want to go into each new situation clear minded but I can’t help but notice trends. You can’t unsee red flags.

I can become blind to them when feelings overcome instincts. Smart enough to know better, too open to give a fuck. I wanted to be with “Ms” so badly I overlooked the 29482 reasons why it was not going to work, and when it didn’t what was worse than the actual falling out was that I let myself down. That carried over to “Miss” so at the first sign of trouble I bailed. Then I realized I was being too closed off so when “Special” came around I put back on the blinders and got burned again. Now, I find myself in a new situation unsure how to play it, there’s unbelievable chemistry but there’s obvious setbacks, even coworkers can tell if we’re on good or bad terms because my mood is that impacted….and that terrifies me.

So maybe I might have a slight, mild, moderate case of abandonment issues. If you’ve read this blog enough, you should know I really really suck at this whole love thing. I’m the Matt Schaub of this here. So of course I’m guarded, perhaps I overthink, maybe I’m in my own way. I’ve at least come to know what it is I want and I’m not abandoning that pursuit.


1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… FRIENDSHIP

I’m not a relationship expert, I don’t even play one on TV.  This blog is more or less me thinking out loud and when readers do reach out for my perspective, tell me about a post they like, or just to #heyboo, I appreciate the love. My gmail aside from sweet nothings from a special someone, is otherwise full of bullsh t any other time, no matter how many things I unsubscribe from….I’m rambling.  Anyway, when readers do ask for my perspective on an issue, I try to be as objective as possible.  I try to take myself out the conversation, but this last one, it really touched on a pet peeve of mine. 

Quick summary: So the reader was friends with this guy, they dated briefly but then he told her he was busy with school/work and it was best they just be friends.  Reader agreed, but of course it turned into a FWB thing, the reader thought she could win him over eventually, when he declined again she blocked his number and on social media, now misses him wants to fix things…..as long as they get back together. 

So after getting more information I responded she should respect his wishes and work on the friendship. 
“Okay….but how long do I have to be his friend before I bring up us”
“Do you want him or you just want a man”
“I want him to be my man”
*throws phone*

This reason this grinds my gears is because of the notion that friendship is somehow a downgrade.  She doesn’t care about him or his wishes not to be in a relationship.  The situation brought me back to “Miss”, who most of y’all know the story of.  What hurt me more than the complete 180 shift in personality is that she pretty much deemed a friendship that budded over years completely irrelevant because she couldn’t have what SHE wanted.  I told her things I never told anyone, I loved her just not in the way she desired, and all of it was just a facade apparently.  The reader who says she loves this guy more or less is brushing off his friendship as some sort of prerequisite course and it’s pretty disheartening. 

Friendships don’t just happen, this isn’t Facebook.  While I believe friendship is an important foundation to a relationship, that doesn’t mean it should be overlooked.  People whine about the friendzone all the time but it’s really just an overbearing sense of entitlement; “I’m attractive, we get along great, we’re both single, how dare you not want to be with me.  You dated whatshisname and he wears tube socks with dress shoes.”  Spare me.  There’s people I’ve known all my life I still wouldn’t call them a friend.  I have friends now that at one time I was the one who wanted more, should I be bitter about and block their number, or just accept another good person in my circle, even if not in the role I intended.               
Ultimately, me and the reader reached a consensus to stop being intimate, try being his friend and if she’s still so madly in love it hurts her core not to have him call his own , then she can gradually drift away and wished her luck.  Although in full disclosure I don’t buy the too busy thing….actually that’s another post entirely.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… RESERVATION

So almost every morning before work like most people I head to the local coffeeshop (I get tea because I’m not big on having coffee then having my stomach start twerking all morning…tmi, well it’s not really tmi but it’s just random unnecessary information RNI).  So at this coffeeshop I see this woman, she’s usually on her way in as I leave or vice versa we smile at each other, say hi and keep it moving.  Don’t know her from a hole in a wall but I live in a small suburban town, sometimes it’s just instinct to say hi to another face who shares my melanin level.  So the other day she finally breaks the fourth wall and starts up spontaneous conversation. She complimented my haircut commented how I look so much younger.  Inquisitively, I asked how old she thinks I am…she gives me a good hard look and says well now you look in your late 20s. As I shook off the unintentional shade and made a mental committment to get full nights rest and apparently shave more frequently, I reply “well I just turned 25 so…”.  She made a funny face, I commented on the shift in demeanor she just said, “Oh I just wished you were older”, not thought, not assumed, wished.  Anyway, I had to go to work…to be continued. 

(Well actually, why build suspense. There’s not much of a story left, I seen her again asked her she just said she was attracted to me but didn’t want to play herself lusting after a younger man. I didn’t bother to object. The end.)

It’s kind of my usual experience with older women, they assume I’m uninterested and see themselves out.  In this very instance she was correct, but it brought me back to the plenty of “I shouldn’t like you” “I don’t want to feel like a cougar” “you don’t want someone like me” “boy you just don’t know”s I get online or in real life regularly.  There was a time I basked in being a guilty pleasure; something about making women reluctantly go against the grain just for me was enthralling.  Then it got real old real quick, no pun intended. In earlier posts I talked about my experiences with actually dating older women, that same insecurity plagued early and they opted for dard hick and bubble gum package rather than face any sort of rejection they’ve already braced themselves for.  It also made me think about my last post on approaching in general and the times I probably counted myself out before I tried and how frustrating it must’ve made them feel.  To an extent that’s kind of how I feel, I’m not superficial, I’m not lust crazy, don’t tell me I don’t want that or you’re not good enough. 

This actually extends beyond older women, I hate when people play the victim, especially with me because I’m very blunt and honest no need to read between the lines.  When people make assumptions about me, I usually just let them believe it because i’m too annoyed to plead a case.  Tell me “oh I guess you don’t want to talk” I will let you stew in your own theory. It’s annoying because I’m very honest, if I don’t like you I will say so, I don’t want to talk to you I will say so. Don’t put words in my mouth and wrong ideas in your mind. Do me a favor, don’t do me no favors, I’ll handle mine.  Yet and still, as they go through they’re own thought process, they determine that I’m just not worth that hassle.  Whatever.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… APPROACH

It’s time for an email, time for an email, time for an EEEEeeeeEEEEeee-E-E-E mail, yeah.  *Elle Varner voice*  Elle Varner gonna be my future ex wife, she just don’t know it yet.  Anyway, this one wasn’t so much a question as much as it was more of a random discussion about men’s reluctance to approach her in public.  She says she’s attractive (my inquisitive nature had to see what she looked like, she’s cute), friendly, she makes herself available, but when she’s out with friends or even alone, not even a nibble. Approaching in general is a lost art, it’s 1000 times easier to follow on twitter, exchange a few jokes, then email addresses, then phone numbers then fluids than actually politely interrupting a pretty woman in Wal-Mart.  The reader said she gets plenty of attention online but what good does that do when they live way over yonder or they’re local but flagrantly aint sh t.  (Sidenote: i wouldnt know but in my own head I assume most guys on dating websites arent single)

I also chatted with the reader about my own thought process when it comes to approaching or not.  I like to think I’m an introvert when really it’s just a convenient explanation to not talk to people when I don’t feel like it.  I’m a delight usually.  Confident, quick witted (is it me or have i been tooting the hell out of my own horn these past couple posts, oh well) I actually enjoy the sport of turning a stranger into a friend/lover/other.  However, I’m introverted in the sense that I think a lot of my approach before I ever implement.  My spidey senses have served me well for the most part even if I maybe let far too many opportunities slip in lieu of getting #thecurve (and I’ve caught some bad rejections smh).  I try to be….efficient.  

We also discussed that as a man in general, what would stop me from approaching someone who I was clearly attracted to?  It’s usually inconveniences she has a whole entourage, crowded ass dance floor, she didn’t smile when our eyes met.  At one point, I would be intimidated if she was just extremely attractive but as you meet more people you realize at the very core, anyone can be had it just takes attraction and charm.   Also, most guys figure she has a full roster so they don’t bother when it’s really the lowkey modest girl who be the real culprit.  Yup, I’m on to y’all. 

Simple solution, why doesn’t she take the initiative.  She doesn’t want to seem desperate and actually quoted something I had said that men will always find some use to a woman even if he’s not that interested.  I don’t think I said that, I’m too lazy to go back…it was probably out of context anyway. Even so, I don’t think forward women are desperate by any means I look at them as I would myself, I like to be in the drivers seat.  Limiting your options to simply who comes to you and hoping they meet your standard seems way more difficult than you simply going after what you want, but I guess it’s a pride thing.  Just ironic how we seemingly are always after something under the belief nothing is going to fall in our laps.  But an ideal mate, that’s just going appear any day now. 


1 Comment

Filed under Dating, Love, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… ROSTER

“That’s a really nice shirt, where’d you get it”

I think I made up some lie, because well, I ain’t sh t.  However I know exactly when and where I got this shirt.  Macy’s….in 2006.  I had bought it for an interview for some job I never got, and while I should be happy that

A) I can fit clothes from high school
B) I pulled it off

It also made me realize C) Why did I still have this shirt that was actually a size too small for me back when I bought it 7 years ago.  I think I was gonna return it.  Probably I don’t part with much.  I still have sneakers from high school, I’ll never wear again, throwback jerseys, Facebook pokes from girls I was crushing on freshman year of college.  There’s a lot of unnecessariness in my life (yes unnecessariness is a word, or maybe it isn’t who cares).

This came to mind when I got a reader email (love those btw), it was a lengthy convo so I’ll paraphrase: basically she was asking for advice about a guy she was talking to for a minute but it’s never materialized to anything but also he seems to have no qualms talking about other women to her.  She clearly seemed to know what time it was and just needed confirmation but her final follow up was interesting, “why do guys always need to have extra women they know they don’t want?”  She also mentioned he’s twice gotten into exclusive relationships with other women,  but never her. Why?

Contrary to popular belief men will put all his eggs in one basket if he feels its worth it.  In the meantime, he will establish a roster of complementary pieces who all fulfill some need, like the Denver Nuggets.  Men see, court, conquer women and when they ultimately figure out she’s not it, instead of counting their losses they find other uses.  Sex, advice, network, flattery, just someone whose company you enjoy, or even someone they themselves are trying to get see them in a different light.  Most single men aren’t alone, there’s always someone.  Like an NBA roster, most would send the whole team away if it meant getting someone they felt was worth it. 

I have a roster, not intentionally it’s just how it plays out.  I’m not exactly juggling 6 women at the same time, but I pride myself on being a good judge of character, if I like you as a person why wouldn’t I want to keep you in my circle in some capactiy.  I’m in a few rosters, I’m a nice guy, maybe not her cup of tea but there’s no reason to shun me completely….I think.  The issue with rosters, is no one likes feeling like they aren’t good enough, why her and not me just as my reader inquired?  It’s humbling to know you’re only a role player in his heart and often most would leave before they accept it. Hi Miss.  However, it’s reality, we all can’t be the love of everyone’s life.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized