Today’s Word is… DATE

As you know I’m not a big fan of the single life, it’s cold out there, let me inside.  However, the one thing I give it over relationships is that I do enjoy dating.  One, I’m great at first impressions, Two, it gives me an excuse to do things I want to do anyway, Three, I love meeting new people.   Some people I date because I have genuine interest is a relationship down the road, others I simply enjoy their company.  Sometimes the lines are crossed and I’ve been hanging out and they looked at it as a date, and I thought I was on a date and it was just hanging out.  I’m pretty much the same way on either so what’s the difference between the two?  What is a date? What are the rules? What changes it from being hanging out?  The obvious difference is intention; but sometimes you just don’t really know.  I’ve gone into dates thinking it was a date, picked up red flags/bad vibe/etc and quickly called an audible.  I’ve also hung out and tried to make it as date-esque as possible.  Through my fails  experiences, I’ve determined:

Dates don’t take place at home- Light all the candles you want, dates don’t happen in the crib (or dorm).

It takes two- Well obviously two people but I mean in the sense, dates usually consist of two activities, looking back there were times I went out with a girl and we went our separate ways after, needless to say I ended up in the friend zone after.

Dates are made in advance- This one I learned the hard way.  Like I said earlier, I typically like to date to do things I want to do anyway. If I’m hungry I’ll suggest we get something to eat, if I want to see a certain movie I’ll ask you to go.  Every relationship advice guru in the world tells women never accept same day dates but I try anyway.  Also women take 37593 years to get ready so they need the prep time.

Tone- We’re too cool for our own good sometimes. “Can I take you out for a drink sometime?” is too humbling, if you get told no there’s nothing around it you just gotta take it.  “You wanna grab a drink sometime” is an easier way even if she does decline but if she accepts you can’t really own up to it either.  I have a habit of asking out in the most vague, platonically ways possible (years of rejection does numbers on you) and then it backfires when I’m not sure if its a date or not

Looking back on dates or hang outs I had and what ultimately happened later on, it was pretty much clear where I went wrong in drawing the line between the two.  For example, my last “date” with Broke Poem Girl (that was like a while ago, I really should get out more), she actually asked me out t she did say “let’s go to brunch” so I thought okay we’re just hanging, then she changed the date to the slam and wanted to get dolled up, so I thought okay maybe it’s a date.  I went business casual she had on skinny jeans, Hangout. Then after the show, she suggested somewhere else, date. However, I had lost entirely too much interest and called it a night. Hangout.  Another time, I had asked a girl out to dinner and drinks, Date? She just invited me over and we ordered in, Hangout.   I also got welp it’s getting late, kickout.  It’s cold out here.




Filed under Dating, Love

2 responses to “Today’s Word is… DATE

  1. M

    I don’t like it when a guy tells me something along the lines of what you mentioned: ”You wanna grab a drink sometime?” That “sometime” word is nothing concrete. I’m guilty of assuming the guy doesn’t really want to go out. I’ll give two examples. One – I went out with a friend who then introduced me to her guy friend. He and I flirted all night while playing pool and both felt like we clicked with each other. Unfortunately we did have some drinks so I’m not sure how genuine that was. I did like him. Later he got my number and said: We should hang out sometime. I immediately dismissed it in my mind knowing it wasn’t going anywhere. And it didn’t. We never met up “sometime”. Two – I met a guy at a baseball game I went to and almost a month later he called me and said we should go out sometime. I told him right there on the phone that by saying sometime he really means never. I was partially joking. He said: Alright, how about tomorrow? So we went out and it was great. Long story, but this post makes me think. I also sometimes blur the lines between a hangout and date. I’m not always sure. Just be straight up with women and tell them you want to take them out. Yeah it takes balls, but it’s also really sexy. Plus if they say no then it’s their loss!

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