Daily Archives: October 5, 2012

Today’s Word is… CHIVALRY


“Some n***as save h*es, I’m not that heroic” – J. Cole

Oh, The plight of the nice guy.  In my last post, I talked about the emotional and vulnerable guy who is always too in love for his own good.  Today, I’ll talk about the chivalrous guy, brave, diligent, unnoticed.

They say chivalry is dead, it was killed by Hip Hop and later avenged by auto-tune which was then killed by Jay-Z who is still the best rapper alive because no one has yet to get close to him aside from Lil Wayne who pretty much stopped caring in early 2009.  What was I talking about again, oh yeah chivalry.  Chivalry has evolved over the years, from knights willing to die for the fairer sex to men who won’t do even the slightest gesture without expectation of sex.  So they say.  I consider myself somewhat chivalrous, I was raised in a house of all women, if I didn’t have the utmost respect for one, I was gon’ learn today.  I say somewhat because some customs are simply unnecessary, while others are not depending on the woman.  I’ll kiss your hand in the least creepiest way possible but I’m not about to get into an altercation over a woman I barely know.  They say today’s men aren’t chivalrous at all, and while we aren’t Knights in shining armor, I give the fellow man more credit than that.  Men are still very chivalrous, some just don’t pay attention, so alas, plenty chivalrous things that tend to go unnoticed like

If you’re from Boston like me, you’d know this is actually a rare sight

Holding a Door– Door handles are the filthiest things on earth, you think of how many masturbating  nose picking, finger popping, paper cut getting, Employees have to wash hands but I don’t, hands touch door handles everyday.  But without thinking I’ll always hold a door for a woman (and use purell after).  Some say thank you, some smile, some got on a dress that thanks you already, others stroll by like you get paid for it.

Introducing– If I’m out with someone, anyone else who speaks me will be introduced, you can be my mailman.  I’m like that with anyone honestly, I hate being the guy twiddling thumbs as you catch up or chop it up with a coworker even though you been off the clock for 4 minutes and you asked me to meet you at 5:00 sharp -_-.

Walking on the right side of the sidewalk– This is something I never realized I did until one time it was actually acknowledged.  I was out with someone and she even walked on the wrong side (because women LOVE to test men on dates) and I subtly moved back.  I got 50 points for Gryffindor for that time and since nothing.

Making Sure You Got Home OK– I always make it a habit to call/text after leaving someone,  we just spent an evening/lunch/night together and I’m not smothering but I like to know that you’re okay.  I mean Anything can happen, ask Liam Neeson.  Taken 2 is out right? Hmmm who to drag with me…okay I’m getting off track again.

Others are just a given now, giving up your seat, lifting heavy things, killing the bug, censoring language etc.  but they also say not that men are rude, but that the modern woman has killed chivalry.  The modern woman is easy, loud, and cynical.  She picks and chooses which chivalrous acts are acceptable, and then will consider the man corny or old fashioned for others. For example

I’ll order my own food thank you- I’ve ordered for my date before (well she told me what she wanted I simply stated it), I’ve also been cut off when doing so and I just got to sit with the Obama at the debate face.

Oh you just saying that- I give plenty compliments, if I  love your perfume I say so, if I like your hair like that I say so, if I like how that shirt fits you I might think something inappropiate but say something a little more eloquent.  I know no one likes to be complimented all the time but these days you can’t compliment a woman without being thirsty or lying.

Make a move- In hindsight there’s plenty of evenings that could’ve turned out differently if I had just made a move.  However, I’m a gentleman first, I might not ask because there’s no way to do that without looking tacky but I will wait her out. Sometimes she breaks the stalemate, others  tell me about it afterwards, gets with someone else and moves away -_-.  Oh, the plight of the nice guy.

Unlike the emotionally unavailable guy, I just don’t see how or why the non chivalrous dude  wins in this matter.  Chivalry is above all else simple manners.  Give a take some examples, most of these things should be done for the fellow person just because.  But things don’t ever work out like that.  Now who am I seeing Taken 2 with, I’m paying unless she’s too independent for all that, then she can lol.



Filed under Dating